Ever catch yourself thinking things like:
“I’m such a failure.”
“I’ll never get this right.”
“Everyone’s judging me.”

If you nodded, you’re definitely not alone. These are the kinds of thoughts our inner critic loves to whisper (or shout) when we’re feeling low or overwhelmed. But here’s the truth:

Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true.

Let’s break down how to recognize these patterns and gently challenge them—without falling into toxic positivity.

🧠 Step 1: Notice the Thought Without Judgment

The first step is to notice when your inner critic shows up. This voice can be harsh, demanding, or full of “shoulds.” It often sounds like:

  • “I should be doing better.”

  • “I always mess things up.”

  • “I’m too sensitive.”

Try to pause and observe the thought like a curious scientist. You don’t have to believe it. You’re just noticing.

🗣️ Try saying: “I’m having the thought that I’m a failure.”
That tiny shift can help you step back from the thought rather than being swept away by it.

🕵️ Step 2: Ask Yourself These Questions

Now, challenge the thought with some gentle reality-testing. Try these:

  • Is this thought 100% true?

  • What’s the evidence for and against it?

  • Would I say this to a friend going through the same thing?

  • Is there a more balanced or compassionate way to see this?

Even if a thought feels true, it may not be the full picture.

🔄 Step 3: Reframe the Thought

You don’t have to swing to the opposite extreme (“I’m amazing!”) if that feels fake. Instead, aim for something more balanced and kind:

  • ❌ “I’m so stupid.”
    ✅ “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t define my worth.”

  • ❌ “I’ll never get better.”
    ✅ “Healing takes time—and I’m taking steps.”

  • ❌ “I should have done more.”
    ✅ “I did what I could with what I had at the time.”

Reframing isn’t lying to yourself—it’s looking at the situation through a clearer, less judgmental lens.

💛 Step 4: Practice Self-Compassion

Sometimes your inner critic is just a scared part of you trying to keep you safe from failure, rejection, or shame.
Instead of shutting it down with more criticism, try responding with compassion:

“Thank you for trying to protect me. I’ve got this now.”

The more you meet these thoughts with kindness, the quieter that inner critic tends to become.

✨ Final Thought

You are not your thoughts.
You are the one observing them—and that means you have the power to shift them.

So the next time your mind says, “You’re not enough,” you can gently respond:

“That’s a thought. Not a fact.”